I haven't forgotten

I haven't forgotten that I have a blog, I promise.

What I've been doing is school.  Things are going well and this is my last semester of pre-reqs.  So I'm hoping things keep going well and I can petition in Sept to start in Jan.  I have a lot of other things swimming around in my head about if I should stay here and finish my ADN or go elsewhere spend more time and money and get my BSN.  I'm hoping I get in the first semester where I am so I don't REALLY have to think about this.  I WANT to work ASAP and I know that I can get a job with my ADN and go for the BSN slowly over time after I'm making some money ;P

Home has been good, we are almost ready to paint in the basement.  My Dad and I sanded most of the place, all walls and some of the ceilings before our arms gave out.  So next week we WILL finish sanding ;) I promise.  Then I need to prime, and paint.  Then floors go in and we can MOVE IN TO IT!!!  It's kind of weird to think about it being done any time in the future since I feel like we've been working on it forever.  We need to have a party when we are done. 

I'm ready for winter to be over, we've had two nice days in the 40s and I wish the whole winter was like this.  So maybe that desert dream will keep me dreaming about warm winters. 

Gabe has been good and keeping busy.  He's always got a story or a joke for us now and his best friend is Maddy (Dave and La's daughter).  They are super adorable together too!  If we could marry them off we would since we already like the In-laws ;)

The end is near!

Insert ominous music here....

The end of the semester is near, just one more week left! PUSH THROUGH!  Then a month off before it starts all over again.

The end of the year is also near.  That means Gabe will be FOUR!!!!! in just 14 days.  I simply can not believe that he's four already.  Where has the time gone? 

The end of the basement is getting near, we're drywalling on Sunday, please don't snow, please don't snow.  Then just floor to put in and we'll be moving stuff downstairs :D

The end of the year is always a little odd for me now.  I think part of it is Gabe's birthday.  I hate that his birthday is so wrapped up with Christmas.  I hate that people will combine gifts for him and they wouldn't for a kid who's birthday was, oh in any other month.  I hate that the kid thinks the whole week is about him.  I hate the cold and the snow.  I'm seriously dreaming of Vegas.  I hear it call to me every time I have to scrape a car, or freeze my fingers driving or walking.  Someday, someday we will go and we will love it.

For now I need to focus on school and finishing up this semester, then I can start looking at the next one, my final pre-requisite semester!  I am dreaming of the day that I finish school and can start working so that Mike can work less.  I dream of being a nurse and helping people and loving my job.  I never dreamed I'd say that either.  I didn't grow up wanting to be a nurse, it just happened.  Sometimes things happen for a reason.  I know now that it is what I'm meant to do and be. 

I am nearing a new year, a new me, skinnier me ;)  I'm already down 37lbs which is my HALF WAY MARK! I'm feeling better than ever and really enjoying working out (most days).  I have some new plans for weight training and some different things as soon as we're in the basement.  I also have somehow agreed to the Warrior Dash which is something I wouldn't have even considered before I started this journey.  Now I think it might be fun.  It will be something to give me a new training reason come spring too. 

I think I've rambled enough and I still have two papers to finish for microbiology so I better get cracking, oh yeah and I MUST install insulation in my basement today whether anyone helps me or not. 

October

You know what I like about October? The fall colors, pumpkins to be carved and TRICK OR TREAT! Gabe has been asking about it lately. I'm hoping he fits into the skunk costume my Grandma made for one of the grandkids many years ago. Otherwise I'll have to think of something.

For me I'm figuring the vampire get up will come in handy again. I do need to look for a black peasant skirt for myself once and for all though since I'm always in need/want of one.

I'm hoping October lasts forever. I'm hoping that it doesn't snow for Halloween. I'm hoping that it's not freezing either. A real fall that lasts a long time would be super nice.

A day in the life...

Image by Just Add Light via Flickr

Yesterday was my 28th birthday, go me! So we went to the Dells to see our friend Skip and his family and RT and his son Connor were there too. We spent the day at the Wilderness resort and had a blast in the water parks.

I had such a proud mommy moment too. Gabe is TERRIFIED of water on is face, it makes a bath a hellish experience when I need to wash his hair. Yesterday though he spent the day in the wave pool taking big waves in the face and laughing the whole time. We went down the Mammoth, a huge family tube slide where he ate water at the bottom. He wanted to do it again! So we did. He played, splashed, and swam the whole day. He says he really liked mommy's friends. He wants to go back sometime already.

We got home and he was sound asleep in the car the whole ride home (even with a stop for gas) and slept in til EIGHT this morning. I think that's the latest we've ever slept in.

Today it's raining but we're going to my Grandparents for the collective birthday cake eating for Steve, Kori and me.

It was a good day yesterday!

A lot of things have changed this last year. My birthday last year was not so great with the housing fiasco we were still in the middle of, we were homeless for awhile, and Mike was switching to first shift then too. I didn't even know that I would start school in the Spring at this point last year and now I'm itching to get back to class in 3 weeks. I'm going to be a nurse someday and that makes me so excited to think about. So while I don't feel older (other than the muscles) I do feel a little wiser and more prepared. I feel like things are moving along well and I can't believe how fast this last year went.

Two years til the Skydiving birthday ;)

I have one feeling

Have you ever had a day as a parent where you just were DONE. Your child doesn't listen, they cause problems all day, they whine, whatever. By the end of the day you're just glad that they are IN BED ALONE! (and you're in need of an adult beverage).

I had a day like that yesterday. I'm not proud of it but it happens. I think it happens to all parents we just don't talk about it like it's a dirty little secret.

So yesterday was a day that by the time bedtime came I was just glad the kid was alive and in one piece. We're doing the bedtime thing. Mike went in first and read a story and then Gabe asked for me. I go in and gave him a hug and kiss. He looks up at me and with those big green eyes and says "mommy you hurt my feeling (singular)" I gave him a hug and kiss and told him I was sorry and that he hurt my feeling too. I also told him sometimes we have bad days and tomorrow we would do better. Geez though. After he said that I left the room in tears. My sweet boy who can be a terror! definitely reminded me that sometimes it's just one bad day and our feeling can be hurt both ways.

Today is better..... so far.

Our burdens

Dawn's really wooping me in this blogging thing so I'm going to try and do better. I love that she's doing this because it really does make me think ALL DAY LONG about something to post. I'm hoping she doesn't mind me snitching from her :D

Today's post is a story that I've heard from my mom. I'm sure it didn't start with her though but it's a good one. It's probably going to be an odd one coming from me since I'm not an overly religious person but I don't think you have to be to understand the idea behind it. If anyone knows where it really came from let me know.

A man is carrying a cross and he decides that it's just too heavy. So one day he drags this huge thing down to the local cross maker and looks at the guy and says "Hey I need something else this is just too heavy" So the cross maker tells him go ahead look through the yard and pick up whatever you want.

The man looks through the this huge yard with all different kinds of crosses in it. He sees one he thinks he likes and picks it up. It's just too tall. So he puts it back. He walks a ways and sees another one and picks it up and it's just way too heavy. He starts to get discouraged but he figures he's going to keep looking. Finally he sees one that he thinks he might like. He picks it up and tests it, not bad he thinks. He walks to the cross maker and says "I'll take this one, it's perfect." The cross maker laughs at him and smiles and then says "that's the one you came in with."

The moral of the story? We all have our crosses (burdens) to bear but they are ours. Some people might seem like that have less than us but many people have more. We all carry ours and in most cases given the options of many of the worse things out there ours are still ours.

It's something that gets me through when things are tough. It's something that reminds me that even though we have things that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy they are still just one small part of our life and overall that life is good.

Writer's block

Can one actually write about writer's block? Doesn't that by definition mean you do not have writer's block? Is there a minimum amount of time you must be stuck for before it's really a block and not a brain fart? I mean what's acceptable? 10 min, an hour, 2 days? Who decides these things anyway?

I started thinking that I'd like some fun blog prompts and of course I come up empty handed. So I start Googling and I find all kinds of sites dedicated to breaking writer's block, yet none of them are what I want.

I want something interesting, funny, or thought provoking. I've had a few ideas lately but then I think "that's silly" and talk myself out of it. Sometimes I just get side tracked and forget what it is I thought was so clever in the first place.

So all in all this is a post about writer's block. If you're writing about it do you still really have it? What are you ideas for breaking it? Do you have any really great places that lead you to think deep (or shallow) things? I'm trying to take a cue from Dawn and just WRITE more, even if it is silly or boring. So deal with it, and blame Dawn if I suck. It's all her fault anyway.

Shoot me some ideas and I'll try and write something up about it and post it with a link back to your blog too. We can all use more followers right?

Friends

Sometimes I forget how much I love my friends. Sometimes I forget I have more friends than I think too.

We had a fabulous day Saturday with lots of friends, old and new, and I find each and every time we get to go and be geeks wonderful unexpected things happen and I always find new friends.

I remember why the gaming community is something that I love and I don't mind calling myself a gamer anymore. Ten years ago I would have avoided calling myself that at all costs, now not so much. The people are some of the nicest, sweetest, most giving and generous people I've ever had the privilege to meet. The few jerks can be ignored, every group has them.

Of course when we get home at 2:30 am and only get four hours of sleep the next morning I remember why I don't do it more but I do know I want to do it more anyhow. Although I think we need a bigger vehicle. Someone should have a van (other than Jenny :P)

I'm really looking forward to our "little" BBQ this Saturday and I'm hoping I have enough food/drinks/fun (EEK!) but no matter what I know that we'll have a blast.

If you're heading our way next weekend we can't wait to see you. Bring some beer (or whatever you drink) and anything else you think might be fun. Heck bring someONE you think might be fun too. Maybe we'll pitch more than one tent in the backyard. This is one of those events that reminds me why I love having a yard and a house.

OOOH in completely other news, we got the loan for the basement so we will be starting all of that work. I'm REALLY hoping to be in the finished product by October. That way we'll have even more room (privacy) for us and anyone who wants to come and stay. Then the parties can get even bigger ;)

1094 days

Every once and awhile you surprise yourself. It sneaks up on you and suddenly you look at yourself and are all "huh did I do that?" It's usually something you talked yourself out of and when you finally make the leap you find out that you can do it.

Today I took a math final where I knew I was the most prepared student. I taught several other people things that they needed before class. I was the one people came to for help this semester. When did that happen? When I was in high school I used to be the one that needed help but most of the time I was too afraid to even ask for it. I was the one that never thought I was very good at math. Now I got a 100% on my final and have an A for the semester. When did I get so smart? Was I always good at math and just convinced myself that it wasn't cool for a girl to be good at it? I hope not.

I hope that as I've gotten older I've become better at focusing and concentrating on what is really important.

Henry Ford said "Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off the goal" I think he was right. I have my eyes on the goal now. I know what's important. I don't really care what other people think of me and I'm going to do the best job I can do because I'm the only one that matters.

I have one last test to take before I'm done for the semester and it's anatomy. I'm really working hard so that I end up with an A in this class too. It's definitely my hardest class but it's also the most fun.

I did my first college English paper this semester and I got 190/200 points on it and it was all about carseats, which is even more fun. I got to write about something I like and I got a good grade on it. I have an A for my final grade in that class as well. All my Psych work is in but the teacher hasn't given back grades, as far as I can figure I have a B+ or A- in that one too.

One more to go! Eye on the first goal. I am already on my way to achieving my goal of being a nurse. Only about 1094 days til I graduate.

Fog

Noun- A cloudlike mass or layer of minute water droplets or ice crystals near the surface of the earth, appreciably reducing visibility.

In reality it means that we're cooped up inside and Gabe is laying on the floor wrapped in a blanket and with a pillow watching tv. He's awful melancholy for a 3 year old sometimes. Maybe he's part Eeyore? Such a funny boy sometimes. I just hope he's not getting sick. He says he's sad today. It's amazing how sensitive kids can be to things like the weather.

I'm really looking forward to some nice warm weather this anti-spring junk has to end. Yes we need the rain but geez can it be warmer than 50 out for it at least? My heat is still kicking in. I hate the cold and damp. It does horrible things for Mike as well. We want warm dry weather any day now, please?

I'm just about done with school. I have til next Friday but that's really only two meetings for one class left. There are no big or exciting plans for summer though. We are hoping to have a big BBQ at the end of June, so if you're local and haven't been invited check Facebook and send me a message. I promise I want you I just forgot :D

We interrupt this blog....

With just three weeks left in the school year I've been a bit busy. I've just submitted the rough draft of my first real college paper for English. Of course it was about carseats ;) So that's mostly where I've been and what I've been doing.

I do exist I promise!

We're busy at the house as well. We're going to be painting the outside. We have actually bought paint so any day now we can start. We need to seal the deck too, bought that stuff already. My mom put up some lattice work around the deck so the cats don't decide to go hiding.

Lewis- He would and he's dumb enough to not find his way out of a paper bag. He's cute and has a lot of extra toes so we keep him.

Mango-I'm not sure she'll go outside at all. She's a big ball of fluff and teeth (no claws) and really is Mike's cat. Once she got into the hallway of our apartment complex and she was so scared she peed herself.

PJ- He's not that bright either but he's little so he can squeeze through a lot of little places. He likes being outside too though.

Moses- Well she's fat so she can't get into or out of much. I'm betting she'll just lay on the deck and bask in the sunshine.

Yes I admit to having four cats. We're not really crazy cat people, though I'm more of a cat person than a dog person. My mom had Lewis and PJ and we had Mango and Moses and now that we all live together we have four. It's quite amusing most of the time.

There will be a full fence going up this summer as well so the cats can roam the yard freely then.

I'm hoping to have some fun this summer and in just three weeks I'll be free of school til fall (I think).

Over a month?

Image by aussiegall via Flickr

I haven't posted anything in over a month :( Wow I'm sad.

School is great, I'm on spring break now. I've got 2 A- and 2 A's so I'm happy! I really enjoy school. Of course these are the easy classes right? :D It's finally nice outside so I'm thrilled my spring break is later than most colleges too. We're actually seeing the sunshine and warm weather before the humidity kicks in an ruins it.

As for life, well we're FINALLY getting the plans together to do the basement renovation. I'm going to hope we'll be all settled by October in our own bedroom. The plans are in the baby stages and we have to have them approved by the city but we read through things pretty well so I don't think there is anything they wouldn't approve. We're putting bigger than needed windows and we've left enough space next to the furnace and we'll have good ceiling height too.

Anyone who is handy (or dumb enough to take orders from me) is welcome to help us on any part of it. We're going to need hands!

Gabe is getting huge and his vocabulary is EXPLODING so ya really gotta watch what you say around him or you'll be in trouble. We've had to explain that a dam is something beavers build already, oops.

Mike and I just celebrated our EIGHT! wedding anniversary on March 20th. I have such a hard time believing that I've been so incredibly lucky and blessed to have him in my life. He's truly my best friend, the first person I want to talk to every day and the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. I can't imagine being with anyone else. I love him so much! Infinity plus one ;)

Things get away from me

Image by rosefirerising via Flickr

It seems that the busier I get the less I update even though I should have more interesting things to say right?

I've been uber busy with school, anatomy is definitely a time sink, but at least it's enjoyable. The other three classes are just annoying.

I've been actually keeping up with laundry and putting it away. It's a nice change to be able to find my clothes for once. I got a super cute hair cut which I'm in love with. I just wish that I could get it as flat as the stylist did. I'm sure it's because her flat iron is better than mine and she can see every spot on my head without contorting. I even bought all the products I'm supposed to and they definitely make a difference. I think the hubby is glad to see his wife not in a ponytail too.

Otherwise it's the big V day weekend, we have no romantic plans really but that's not a biggie. Mike brought home an orchid for me spur of the moment on Thursday which he knows I love. General running around and familial obligations to attend to should be fun too.

I just wanted to let everyone know I'm not dead just busy for once.

2009 in pictures

Thank you to Dooce for giving me the idea. This is 2009 in review by picture. This is the very first Imovie picture montage I've done and I think my music has a skip in it but otherwise I'm very proud of it!




2009 has brought us many changes. We moved the hellish nightmare that it was. We celebrated Gabe's 3rd birthday. I decided to go back to school. There have been so many things that I just can't believe another year has come and gone.

Not only is this a new year but a new decade. Ten years ago I was a senior in high school and I did attend the best NYE party ever. We still laugh about that party. Anyone that was there knows and those that weren't missed a good time. The changes that have happened in the last 10 years are amazing.

I got move in with Mike, we got married, move a zillion times, decided to try to have a baby, Mike was diagnosed with MS, we finally got pregnant, moved some more, had said baby, celebrated birthdays, anniversaries, deaths and births. Somewhere in that time I became a real adult. It sneaks up on your that's for sure but I wouldn't change it for the world.

Through everything my wonderful husband has been at my side and he really is my best friend. Thank you for always sticking by me. Things haven't always been easy but we've come out stronger than ever. I'm looking forward to many more years together with you!

Happy New Year everyone! Have fun and stay safe!

Oh the weather outside is frightful....

Image via Wikipedia

It's not a ton of snow in our area but south of us they got more. Still I'm depressed about it.

I used to enjoy snow. I've never been a snow bunny. I don't ski, a couple trips down the sledding hill and I'm all for heading in and drinking hot chocolate, and the thought of riding a snowmobile makes me ill. I DID enjoy the snow though, the chill in the air (not the frigid temps later) but at least those first couple of REALLY white really crisp snows were enjoyable.

Now?

Meh.

All I can think now is that it's the beginning of a very long, very cold winter, I'll have to shovel, drive in it, get salt tracked onto anything and everything, get sick, be sad when the sun is shining because that means it's -20 out with the windchill. All I do is long for spring. I long for the warmth of the sun, not the teaser that it is in the winter. I long for things to move and live.

I'm not sure when this happened but really I often wonder now if someplace warmer isn't calling my name. Maybe when school is done we'll talk about a move someplace where owning a snowblower would make you a kook. Some place where Christmas comes with lights and caroling but NO snow. Some place where you can be outside on the patio on Christmas morning.

Until then I'm going to complain and drink tea, eat chili and count the days til it's warm enough to go outside without eleventy million layers on. Oh and I don't want to have to wear socks ALL the time. I hate wearing socks and shoes and having to sleep with socks on sucks.

So how to I wait out the winter without hibernating? I'm hoping that Gabe will help get me through that because he's at the age where he thinks it's very piddy (pretty) and everything is full of magic. I'm hoping he drags me kicking and screaming through it and I remember it fondly.

When you think of something write it down...

Otherwise you end up like me. I'm laying in bed last night and I thought something really funny and thought "hey you should blog that in the morning". Of course this morning I have NO idea what it was.

It did make me think of something else funny though. My mom got this clock awhile back for $40 at some consignment store. It's got a nice ticking sound to it, and you have to remember to wind it. It says it's a 31 day clock but really ya gotta wind it every two weeks. What's funny about this particular clock is that it's supposed to ring once for the half hour and then on the hour for the time it is. Well it doesn't quite work that way. It dings correctly once on any half hour but the hour marks are a dice roll. It does ding between 11 and 4 properly but the other hours are a crap shoot.

Mike and I were laying in bed a couple nights ago talking and we were talking about the clock. I said well at least it hasn't dinged 13 yet since we think that might be the third sign of the apocalypse. Of course suddenly the clock starts dinging and we're obsessed with counting the chimes now. I swear that it dinged 13 just that once. I haven't heard it before and I haven't heard it do that since.

So we have this quirky clock, and we could probably have it taken in and fixed but I kind of like the fact that you're never sure what time it will really ding. So I think we'll keep our quirky clock just the way it is. Not everything has to be perfect to be enjoyable.

Thoughts to live by....

"Today, if you become frightened, instead become inspired."

"Don't think about HOW you are going to do this, think about WHY you are going to do this"

‘I used to think it was a terrible thing that life was so unfair. Then I thought, 'what if life *were* fair, and all of the terrible things that happen to us came because we really deserved them?' Now I take great comfort in the general unfairness and hostility of the universe.’
- Marcus Cole, from Babylon 5 (1994-1998)

These quotes have been rambling around for me. The first one from last night's Grey's Anatomy, the second from someone when I was worried about how I was going to juggle things for school and the third about life in general.

The first quote reminds me that when we're scared we often become paralyzed by the fear instead of being inspired to find a way around the fear. Sometimes we just need to DO and not think so much.

The second one reminds me that sometimes the how sucks and it's hard but the why is the important part. The why is for me, for my family for my life. I know WHY I'm doing this and I have to keep that in mind each and every day that I feel stuck.

The third reminds me that sometimes things just happen and no one is to blame and nothing is fair.

So I vow to be inspired and remember the why in life even when things are tough and know that sometimes it's hard and that you just have to push through it.

This too shall pass, yet another of my thoughts to live by.

Life in a nutshell

Things get busy and then I forget to write down the important things. The ones I really want to keep in my mind forever seem to happen when you least expect it.

We've had a lot of rain lately and Gabe misses the shiny (sun). So he told me that he was going to wake up shiny for the last two days. It was super cute.

We've had friends come over and we've actually been out and about too.

Yesterday I spent about a day and a half on hold with MATC getting my application straightened out. Seems they didn't get the whole maiden name/married name thing combined and my transcripts didn't get paired with my application correctly. We did get it straightened out and I should be getting a letter to take the accuplacer testing in the mail SOON. Hopefully I can take it on a Thursday so my mom can watch Gabe. I've looked at some of the practice tests and I really hope I don't have to write a 300-600 word "paper". That is just a pain in the ass if you ask me. Otherwise Mike is going to have to help me brush up on the math stuff ahead of time too since math is my worst subject.

Then I need to set up an appointment to see the daycare facilities, figure out car rides for Gabe and I to school and back. Set up appointments with the financial aide office too I think since I have no idea how this stuff really works either. It's getting a little overwhelming but I'm trying to not panic and push through it. I can do this!!

This weekend we had an issue with our bank acct from a store that over charged me for an item I bought one of, they charged me for SEVEN. So now I'm waiting on their refund to go back into my bank acct since missing over a hundred dollars for us is super tough :(

Phew I think that's it lately though I feel like I'm missing something. I wish I had more time to just sit and think sometimes.

The more things you do the more that are left

I swear the more work we do organizing and cleaning in the new place the more that there is. You know how it is. Whenever you start cleaning you always end up with a bigger mess than before you started before it finally gets clean.

Of course everyone has their own time tables and priorities on what should get done first too. We have three adults now (me, Mike and Mom) so it's even harder sometimes to get everyone's wants and desires taken care of. I'm finding it's a game of compromise and just letting the little things go.

Today I have about a zillion things to do and of course not enough time, energy or money to take care of them all ;) I mean who does right?

We're going to buy some curtain rods, dig holes for a couple of trees we have to plant, remover for the wallpaper border in Gabe's room so I can get my butt in gear and paint that for him too.

I'm tired just thinking about it.

We're all working through who needs to do what, who needs to pay for what and who likes things where. We'll get there I know we will.

The Itsy Bitsy Spider

Now we all know this song right?

The itsy bitsy spider goes up the water spout and then the rain comes and washes him out and that dumb spider goes up the water spout again.

Gabe has taken a liking to this song. It's taken over bed time over Frere Jaques even. So instead of singing it all cute and up beat and doing hand motions we sing is slow and softly now at night.

I am putting Gabe to bed when I'm done Mike tells me that only I could make the Itsy Bitsy Spider sound like a dirge. A dirge? Really? That's a funeral procession song people?! How in the world can I sing that to my child at night to wish him sweet dreams and a peaceful night.

So I got back at Mike. The next time he sang Frere Jaques I asked him if he was part of a church choir because he oversings is so dramatically. Needless to say he didn't make it through the rest of the song he laughed so hard at me.

Point for Mel