Summertime!

I really do love summer.  I love the warmth (Mike says I'm a reptile), I love the sunshine, the hours of light, the smells.  I do NOT love the mosquitoes.  They are annoying me already. 

Sarah and I are running together.  I'm really enjoying it.  We're doing the C25K (again for me) but this time it's all on the road which I haven't done before, I did most of it on the treadmill last year.  Road running is so different than treadmill.  One isn't better or worse than the other but they just are different.  I love having a partner to run with, it makes the time pass faster.  I didn't even mind the rain storm the other day, until it was raining so hard we couldn't see.  Luckily we made it home before the hail started.  Of course the power was out. 

I'm working on these last 20ish pounds to lose, but I'm really hoping most about toning the middle of me.  I hate my middle.  So if those last 20 come off, I'm hoping a lot of it is off that middle.  But overall toning and working out should make that happen. 

In addition to running I'm doing the 30 Day Shred by Jillian Michaels.  It is quick and fits into the morning easily.  I WILL do a full 30 days without missing.  I do have pictures but we'll see if I'm brave enough to post the before pictures or just the after ones.  Yes I'm a chicken, yes I've posted pictures before but this feels different, more out there, more personal. 

In just 10 days we're having a party for our tenth anniversary and I'm wearing a great fun party dress that I could not have fit into when we got married so I know I should be proud of myself (and I am) but I still feel like this is always an up hill battle.  I'm not sure when or if it will ever be "easy" but it is something I NEED to keep doing for myself.  I like the way I feel when I work out, and I like the way I look thinner, oh yeah and I'm sure I'm healthier too (but lets be honest, most of us work out to look good, not be "healthy"). 

So for anyone out there thinking they can't do this, take a look back at the weight loss posts here and the pictures, the struggles and the successes.  I know that even when there is a set back I'm still LEAPS and BOUNDS ahead of where I was before I got off that couch!  So just do it!

W9D3

"If you run, you are a runner. It doesn't matter how fast or how far. It doesn't matter if today is your first day or if you've been running for twenty years. There is no test to pass, no license to earn, no membership card to get. You just run." -John Bingham


Today I officially finished the C25K program.  I know crazy!  On June 18th I started this journey and I could barely do the run 60 seconds, walk 90 seconds enough times to finish the workout.  Now sometimes I run extra just because I feel like it! 

Most of my running has been on the treadmill which keeps my pace steady, so I'm not running too fast and wearing myself out, but I also can't slow down when I feel like maybe I can't do this anymore.  My new goal is to run on the road.  That way I can learn to self pace myself and be stronger. 

I need to do a local race, There's one in Tosa the end of Sept that I'm thinking about.  It's a fast downhill course so it's "easy" for a beginner :D  I'm running about a 13:00-13:30 min/mile so I'm not the first one done but I'm not the last one either (I hope!) 

This is just proof that even though I was never a runner before, I am now.  I. AM. A. RUNNER. say it with me!  I like it, I look forward to it and I miss it if I don't do it.  I can't believe that I think about it, dream about it even LOL. 

I have so far to go, and yet I have come so far.  Thank you to everyone who didn't give up on me, who encouraged me and who believed in me.  I'll need the encouragement now and forever too so keep it up!!! 

For recording sake

For the sake of recording things I need to put this down here so that I can find it at some point in the future that I'm not even thinking about yet ;)  Since I did something that one year ago I never even considered doing, that I didn't think was possible.  Something that 9 weeks ago was a pipe dream that I thought "what the heck give it a try"

HOLY COW!!! tonight felt good on the treadmill and ran a full 5k (including warmup and cool down time of course) Took me 43:41 to do the whole thing (I figure I wouldn't be the last person done right? :P) So I ran extra time just because I wanted to hit it so badly! Plus you can't quit when Christina Aguilera's "Stronger" comes on followed by Michael Jackson "Man in the Mirror"

I think I might officially be a real runner!!! I really did cry a little after I finished.

This was W9D1 of C25k (couch to 5k) There is not a smilie in the world for how amazing this feels.

29 years ago

I was born 29 years ago (August 7, 1982) in Racine, Wisconsin.  I'm a Leo and I'm bold like the lion too!

In the last 29 years I have lived in many houses/apartments.  I attended several different school districts, but always lived in the state of Wisconsin.  I never left the country until I was just shy of 19 years old (with Mike after we'd been dating only a very short time, my mom thought I was crazy). 

There were the typical milestones of life, walking, talking, getting my ears pierced, driving, boys, dances, parties, friends, tattoos (lol), moving out, moving around, getting married, having a child.  All those things that are part of many of our lives.

Some of them were significant and some of them not so much, but they are all apart of who I am.

Ten years ago I was moving in with Mike, getting engaged and living on my own for the first time.  I was 19 years old (we moved in just after my birthday in August 2001) but it was planned and set up when I was just 18.  I didn't even think I wanted kids at that time.  I told Mike as much and he told me that he loved me more than any potential people and the wanted to spend his life with ME and if a child came then that was okay, if not that was okay too.

Five years ago I was pregnant with Gabe, miserable, hot and at the State Fair all I wanted was a Mike's Hard Lemonade for my birthday.  Instead Mike found me a lemonade frozen concoction that was delicious!  I was a miserable pregnant women so this was an accomplishment.  Who would have thought that I would love a child as much as I love that rambunctious, loud, opinionated little boy?  He's all I imagined and so much more!  I can't believe in December he'll be FIVE!

Two years ago I was starting to SERIOUSLY start talking about going to school to do something important, and getting my things together to start in the Jan 2010 semester.  How I chose nursing is sort of funny.  I'd always thought I'd be a veterinarian as a kid, then I found out vet school is HARD.  So I was a vet tech for awhile, and enjoyed it but left to try other things.  I considered going back to school for that just after Gabe was born but realized I'd never make enough money or be able to carry the health insurance for the family.  So I figured what's the difference between a nurse for an animal and one for a person?  Turns out it was the GREATEST thing I could have ever thought.  I know being a nurse is my calling now.

One year ago, I really woke up and decided that something in my life had to change.  I was WAY too heavy, I didn't like the way I looked.  I didn't like that I was invisible to other men and women.  I WANT to be the woman who snaps necks when she walks into a room.  So I got off my ass, stopped shoving so much damn food into my mouth and DID something about it FINALLY!  I'm down 72lbs in one year.  I'm running as much as 25 min (in a row) and biking 5:20 min miles (6/7 miles in a row) and I'm lifting weights.  I've seen my body change, but more importantly I've seen my MIND change.  My mind set is so different.  I wish I had been a better planner and exerciser outside of high school sports so I knew how to keep it up once those weren't around.  But the important thing is that I did find out how to do it.

Even just 7 weeks ago when I started the C25K (couch to 5k) program I never saw that I could REALLY run for 25 min in a row and LIKE it.  

It's proof that I am continually changing and growing.  I had an instructor in Anatomy tell us that if we were stagnant we died (cell growth and all) and it's true about myself as a whole too. I can't be stagnant, I need to do new things and move and change to stay alive. 

I have an amazing husband, he's my best friend, and my biggest cheerleader in all things I choose to do.  Even when my plans sound crazy he's behind me and never says "told you so" if I fail.  He's the one that is always willing to listen to my crazy ideas and let me pick up new projects knowing full well that I probably won't complete most of them.  I love you babe!

I want the next 29 years to be full of new adventures, ideas, places and friends.  I want to remember that I'm not scared to try things, that as Lady Gaga has told us "I was born to be brave" and I can DO whatever I want to.  That my family and friends will be there for me.   I have been so blessed with tons of great friends close to home and across the country and even the world.  Just because I can't hug them all doesn't mean they aren't true friends.

I have amazing friends and amazing family and I want to thank them all for allowing me to be the kind of person I am, loud, obnoxious, blunt, funny, a horrible singer, and so much more.

Mental block?

So tonight I did W5D3 and it felt REALLY hard.  BUT I think most of it is in my head.  My legs felt okay during the run, and my lungs felt okay.  It was still hot but not as bad as it has been.

So now I have to push through the mental wall.  I mean I ran for 1.25 miles all in one shot tonight!  There's no way I could have done that 5 weeks ago so I know I'm making great progress.  I just wish the mind part was keeping up with the body LOL.

Maybe new music would help me push through, having new tempos and songs that I don't know the exact time to?

Milestone today

Today I did something I really didn't believe I could REALLY do, I mean I hoped I could but I wasn't quite sure.  It was so far out of my comfort zone and something I'd never done before.  Now I know that this is the first of many of these milestones.

I am HALF WAY through the C25k program.  Today I ran for 8 minutes (in a row!), walked 5 and then ran 8 more (in a row!) and I didn't die, I didn't collapse, and I didn't look like an idiot.

Of course I'm not feeling ready for the next one which is just to run for 20 minutes (in a row!) but that's really only 4 more minutes than I ran today, just cut out the random walking in the middle and I'd be almost there.  So whether I go straight to that, or I modify it somehow, or repeat today even.  I can do this!  I am strong, I am brave and I was born to be this way (LOL okay I got carried away with some Gaga but can you blame me?!)

So for anyone out there that's thinking "I can't do this" or "I'll never get there" you will!  You can!  It's not going to happen over night and there are going to be rough patches, times you feel like giving up but if you don't give up and you get back up when you stumble you too can do it!!  Every day is a new day and that means a fresh start.

I want to really say thank you to my husband for supporting me, and telling me that I was beautiful and sexy and smart and wonderful no matter how I felt, or how I looked.  I know that's true love ;)  I know that he's my biggest cheerleader (minus the skirt) and will always have my back.  We're a team.  I love you so much honey, infinity plus one <3

Thoughts about running and walking

So I'm still a very baby runner, honestly it's still more walking than running, but it's more running than I've done...oh ever.  I finished W2D3 (week 2 day 3) of the C25k program (couch to 5k) yesterday.   I feel like those 90 second runs are still super hard.  Tonight I think I'm going to do a 4th day in Week 2 just for the extra workout of it. 

Maybe each week I won't really feel ready to move on but how am I to know what's in my head and what's my body telling me I need to do an extra workout or an extra week?  How do I get over my own mind games?  It's super frustrating.  I just want to feel confident about myself and my (baby) abilities.  I don't like feeling like I'm floundering or unsure of what I'm doing.

I do know what my plan is.  My plan is to keep plugging along and to keep running and keep progressing through the program.  I know the program works for many people and I feel like it will for me.  I think that sooner or later there will just be a day or a week were I'm suddenly like "oh hai I can do this better today".  I'm looking forward to that day. 

Until then I'm going to keep my head down and put one foot in front of the other and see where that takes me.