First week as an RN

This was my first real week as an RN!

I've been on 12 hour shifts and it's taken some getting used to.  My feet do hurt some but not as bad as I thought they might.  I enjoy the 12 hour shift actually, I'll miss it when I'm off orientation and working 3-1130pm. 

I have to say that I really love it. It's overwhelming and there is so much information to think about, get done, get charted and pass on to either MDs or other nurses etc but I can see how eventually I'll settle in.

Another nurse and I went and started an IV on a new patient and the way the other nurse talked me through was AMAZING, and high fived me when we were out of the room for my VERY FIRST OFFICIAL IV start, ONE STICK

I get nervous and anxious before having to do a new skill but it feels so great to get them down and I'm getting more comfortable with medications already.

I did have a patient with bad news this week and I was able to sit and talk and hold her hand some too after she came to a big decision (it is an oncology med/surg floor) but I felt like I made a difference and she smiled and thanked me for sitting with her.

Someday when I'm a seasoned nurse and all these things are second nature to me I want to be sure to remember how it felt to be the new kid on the block, to be scared, nervous and so excited to be at the beginning of my career journey.  When I'm the preceptor I hope I can remember that, because it makes all the difference! 

First day

Today is the day that all that school was meant for. Of course it's paper work and meetings. The floor won't be til next week. 

This is a new chapter for me. Something that I'm going to love. I'm going to have sore feet, and a sore back, sweat and cry for this but it is worth it and I will love it even when I hate it. Remember this! 

Finally done!

I honestly can't believe that I'm done with nursing school.  I dreamed about this day for quite awhile (and frequently cursed along the way) but I'm not sure I REALLY thought it would get here.

It's been an amazing ride.  One that I might actually miss a little tiny bit.  I've had my friends and family put up with me, support me, make me laugh, and let me cry.  Without them I know I wouldn't have been able to do this on my own.  I owe them a big huge thank you! 

ADN Pinning December 2013

Pinning was amazing, I admit I'm a sap (as if you didn't know that already).  I didn't really flat out cry but I did get teary eyed plenty of times.  Sitting there listening to speeches and looking around me at my classmates all dressed up and in graduation gowns was very important to me.  I think ceremony is an important part of beginning and ending things.  I don't know that I'll ever feel that way again, filled with joy, pride, excitement and trepidation for the future. 

I know I've said this before but I'll say it again: at 18 I never would have picked nursing as a career, now I can't imagine being anything else.  I know that this is my calling and it will never just be a job but be part of who I am and what I am. 

I've been so lucky to find this fairly early in life.  I never thought I'd be that person.  It is proof that things do fall into place if you are ready for them when they are ready for you.  Thank you to everyone, but especially my husband.  He never gave up on me, he always believed in me (even when I didn't believe in myself), and he has been my rock, my best friend and so much more.  Thank you for letting me use you as a guinea pig and teach you all kinds of gross diseases so that I could learn them too.  Thank you for everything.  Gabe doesn't realize it yet but he deserves a big thank you from me too, for putting up with an exhausted mom, and one who was maybe a little short sometimes, and didn't always feel like playing or reading one more story.  He's an awesome kid and I know that he's proud of me too.  He talked about my graduation the entire week beforehand, and even though the ceremony part was boring (he's almost 7 after all) I know he will understand someday.  I love you both so much. 

Almost there!

Nothing like posting in August and then not again til December right?!  Geez!

This semester has been amazing and crazy! I've been lucky enough to do a rotation in a major regional burn center and have found that I love it there!  I'm just 16 days from graduation (EEK!) and I'm really hoping that a job opens up there and I can stay.  The nurses and patients have all been simply spectacular.  The things I have learned there can't be quantified.  I never thought I'd be the kind of person that would find a job that I really really really loved and if I won the lottery I'd do this job for free. 

Right now the schedule looks pretty awesome, this week is my last clinical day, then the HESI.  Next week is my last exam and then just a presentation after that.  Pinning is coming quick and I have a dress and presents for my friends all set! It is going to be amazing.  I simply can not believe how far we've all come since starting this program.  I feel like a nurse now, I feel like I can do this, I feel like this is what I'm meant to be here doing. 

I want to take my NCLEX ASAP after graduation so I can really start working too.  I'm hoping by the second week in January at the latest, it depends on quickly school gets my info in to the state. 

Here's to the next chapter and starting out as a brand new nurse and being the new kid on the block and terrified all over again.  I know I can do this!

Bring it on!

It's taken a long time to get here.  To this place where I can say that I'm starting my final semester of school (for now).  To say that this is the one that matters.  It's been a long time coming, and the road hasn't always been easy but I have to say that in a way I've really loved every minute of it. 

This semester I know I will be challenged, AGAIN, in ways I can't see coming.  I will stretch the limits of my brain, the amount of sleep, the stress, and the fun and joy of this journey.  I will spend time with women that I call friends, women I couldn't even fathom having like them in my life.  Without them I wouldn't be here either. 

My family has given so much, sacrificed so much and been there when I need them.  They will not really ever know how much I am thankful for that.  My husband has been especially important and he's put his things on hold just so that I (we) could do this too.  He's a pretty amazing person, my best friend and the one person I know I can't live without.  I love you hon! 

I hope that I can be the kind of nurse that I would want to work with, the kind I would want as a patient and the kind that continues to learn and grow and never becomes jaded.  I hope that I have a job I love (or at least like) and it happens soon LOL! 

I am ready, I've been building to this for so long.  I had no idea that this is what it would feel like.  I can do this, I can be this, I am MEANT to be this. BRING IT ON!

RAWR!

I'm a horrible blogger, I know this (and so does anyone who actually checks this page) because I only post VERY sporadically but when I do it's because I've been thinking.

Today I was thinking that my birthday is in 2 weeks.  I was thinking that I'll be starting my last semester of school.  I went back and read some of the things I posted that first semester and HOLY COW! That was a pretty scared and stressed out woman.  I feel different now.  I feel like I might know where I fit, and if I don't that's okay I'll find it.  I can't believe that I'll be starting the last 16 weeks pretty darn quick here, and then the real work starts right?  My only regrets are that I didn't start this sooner and that my Grandpa won't be there to see me graduate. 

I've really begun to feel like I'm ME and that even with all the imperfections and things I'd like to change that I'm okay with me :D There's always work to be done and the best any of us can hope for is to have the time and desire to change things. 

Tomorrow I have a date with my hubby for Darius Rucker and I'm looking forward to that, then we have Miranda Lambert on Aug 11 and then I'll be gearing up for school pretty darn quick! Gabe will be starting FIRST grade in Sept! Here it comes! I'm going to really try and blog the last semester well so that when I'm an old haggard lady I'll remember what this one felt like too, because I sure wouldn't remember that 1st semester if I hadn't written it down too. 

Here's to the beginning of the end.... of this journey at least I'm looking forward to it, and to the beginning of the next journey too.

Three semesters down! One more to go!

Yesterday I finished my 3rd semester of nursing school.  That means I'm 3/4 of the way to being a nurse, for real!  I started with my pre-reqs in January 2010 and will graduate in December 2013.  Not too shabby for someone who never attended college and had no idea what she wanted to be when she grew up, after the veterinarian thing was out at least. 

Looking back on the last three semesters is a blur.  I have made some really awesome friendships that I hope last a lifetime.  I have met some amazing instructors and mentors that I know have made me a better person and will make me a better nurse.  I have learned so many things from text books, lectures, videos, discussion and most of all my patients. 

There were times that this has been fun, really!, there have been times where this was hard, A LOT!, and there have been times I wasn't sure I was going to get through the next day...but I have.  My family has been so wonderful and understanding about everything.  I really couldn't do this without my husband's support. 

This summer Gabe and I will be home having fun, and hopefully that new pool will go up easily! This summer will be the last time that I'm home full time like this.  So we're going to enjoy it doing as many free things as we possibly can. 

Here's to an amazing summer and just one more semester of school before I'm officially a nurse....and then the real hard work begins and I simply can not wait!!

48 days/260 days

It's spring break and right now there are 49 days til the end of this semester.  That also means that there are only 260 days til graduation. Of course that means spending the summer home again this year with my most favorite little human. 

I think about how I felt at this time last year, that I was drowning, that no one could possibly survive this thing called nursing school, that I would never finish, that I was never going to feel like a nurse, that I was terrified....so much more.  I feel different now.  I can see where I'm going and I can see how I'm going to get there (most of the time).  I know that I feel confident in some of the stuff I know and have learned.  Of course there is so much more to learn, there always will be, but I know stuff.  I know the answers, I just have to BELIEVE that I know them.

I enjoy clinical even when it means extra homework, because I like being on the floor.  I like spending time with patients.  I can see myself doing this job for the rest of my life.  I know this is what I'm supposed to do.  I may not always know what kind of nurse I'll be but I know that I'm supposed to be a nurse. 

In 260 days I'll be done with school.  I started this journey in January 2010 with my pre-reqs and I have met some amazing people along the way.  I have learned so much about myself, and I have been shown time and again how wonderful my family it (even when they drive me nuts).  I really can't imagine myself doing this without them.  I'm sure that I don't tell them that enough but I hope they know that. 

I can not wait to be done with this portion of school, to take my NCLEX and call myself a nurse.  On the flip side I'm terrified to be an official nurse that someone expects knows the answers.  It's going to be exciting.  Right now I'm focused on surviving this year, one day at a time.  Left foot, right foot, breathe.  Keep calm and nurse on!

Made it!

I made it, I finished the first semester of nursing school.  I did it with the help of my family and the friends I have made this semester!  Thank you all!  Thank you for the fun, for kicking my butt when I needed it, thank you for making flash cards, and letting me us your notes, thank you for the lunches, and the jokes, and picking on me when I really needed it, thank you for showing me how wonderful people really can be and I know some of us will be life long friends. 

 Thank you to my wonderful husband who never complained when I had to study late, or go to study group, when dinner wasn't made, when laundry wasn't done, when I went to bed at 8pm on a weekend because I was so beat.  Thank you honey, you'll never really know how much I appreciate you.

Of course there are three more semesters to go but I'm feeling great having the first one out of the way! 

This summer Gabe and I will hang out, play in the yard, go to the pool and just enjoy not having to be anywhere before 8 am.  Mike and I are signed up for an aquatic workout 2 nights a week starting Mid-June and I'm looking forward to some "us" time.

I'm looking forward to grilling out and burning stuff with my brother and Sarah now that they are next door.  I'm looking forward to just chilling out some!

I can't wait for the party in just a couple weeks! I'm worried its going to be 900 degrees, or 30, or raining LOL!  But it will be a blast no matter what. 

I'm looking forward to running and working out more! (I hope my hip agrees, its really sore after the first day of running on Saturday).

I just can't wait!!!

Just keep swimming....

I feel like I'm drowning.  I am starting to see some people start to lose it.  Just three weeks left of this semester.  I'm both shocked at how fast it is going and yet each day seems like an eternity.  Each morning my alarm goes off and I think I could sleep for days, maybe I will when I have that chance.  Gabe can fend for himself ;)  Tests, tests, studying, studying, clinicals and reading. 

Things just feel like they are all so far to the wayside that I can't even think about them much, laundry is a joke!  I mean I'm not great at keeping up on laundry normally but right now it is a complete and utter disaster!  Food....well I did gain 4 pounds during this semester.  That's pretty good I think considering the complete and total lack of working out I have done.  I am looking forward to having some time to work out soon.  I really do need the time to unwind but then I feel guilty for not hanging out with Mike or Gabe or studying, eating or even ...GASP!.... sleeping that I don't do it. 

I am glad I'm doing this.  I feel really drawn here to this point in my life.  I feel like something called me here.  The universe put a lot of things in front of me and I ended up here.  I'm loving the work and I love the theory, I can't wait to find my place and find MY people, the place where I'm comfortable as a nurse, the place where I belong, the place where I make a difference in even just one person's day.  I know its out there.  I have some ideas of where I think I might want to be but then I learn something new and get interested in that too, I'm like a crow going after things that are shiny right now.  Hopefully I'll just KNOW.

For now though one day at a time, one class at a time, and one test at a time.  

I'd lose my head if it wasn't attached

I better write all this down RIGHT NOW while I'm thinking about it.

Today was my first day of core nursing classes (the ones that really count!).  It was also Gabe's first day of daycare!!  Turns out Mother Nature has a sense of humor and the wind chill was below zero when we left the house, oh so early, in the morning. 

We did get out the door only to forget Gabe's boots, which didn't matter because it was too cold to play outside at daycare but still bugged me.  We got Mike dropped off at work and headed to campus.  I got a good parking spot (benefit of being there at 7:30).  I hauled my backpack, laptop bag, Gabe, his snowsuit, and his backpack all inside the school. 

I dropped him off and he barely said bye to me!  He was the first one there so he went off and was busy playing right away with all the cool toys.

Then I skedaddled to my first class, Pharmacology, which was at 8am.  I get there and we sit around for awhile and at about 8:15 another instructor comes in and apologizes that we were supposed to get an email that there was no class today, that it starts NEXT Wed.  Grrr!!  So now I have 2 hours to kill on campus while I wait for my next class to start.  It was a long two hours.

The next class is Nursing Fundamentals, we get settled in, do the obligatory paperwork, and jump right in.  It was an alright intro and seems like it could be interesting.  It is basically a theory class about the profession of nursing (subtitled "How not to get sued" by me). 

I am done at noon and head over to the daycare to pick Gabe up.  When he sees me he immediately bursts in to tears because they were just starting lunch and I interrupted him LOL!!  There were three other kids there at that point, two girls and a boy.  They all waved and said hi.  I did finally get Gabe to calm down and we took his lunch to go. 

At home he tells me that it was a boring morning because he was by himself for most of it (I think the other kids came around 10).  He did enjoy playing in the muscle room, where they play when it is too cold outside.   He waffles between telling me he's glad he went and wanting to never go back again!

Monday we do it all over again, but only for the afternoon since there was a last minute schedule change by one of my instructors :/ So we'll be on campus together from 12:30-4 and then head right to pick up Mike. 

I have about 115 pages to read this week for Fundamentals, my online Psych class will probably start posting things tomorrow or Friday.  So I'm off and running! Although I won't really be running because my backpack weighs a ton and is already stuffed to the max!

School decision

After I received the acceptance letter to Cardinal Stritch I also received an acceptance to MATC.  I was thinking "CRAP! now I really have to decide what to do?!" 

Mike and I really sat down and talked things through and he is the most wonderful, amazing husband ever, and assured me that we would do what needed to be done no matter which school I chose.  Knowing that he supported my decision really did help me and make it easier to decide.  After lots of thought and consideration I've decided to stay at MATC.  The price tag is definitely a big deciding factor, plus I've been receiving more grants which makes it even better.  I know that I don't have to work full time while in school and end up having some left over money to pay bills and things while in school.  Plus leaving school with less debt is something that I really need to consider.  Both programs are good and both give me my ADN which allows me to take the NCLEX and become an RN.  I'll worry about my BSN later if and when that matters.  MATC's program is 4 semesters long meaning I will finish in the December of 2013!

I am excited to have made a final decision! I am still nervous and worried and everything else.  There are still some things that I need to do before I start with those classes in January but I'm on my way.  Now I'm on a mission to find even more scholarships and grants to pay for school! 

Wish me luck, remind me that I'm not crazy, that I can do this with a child and a husband and a life.  Remind me that I WANT this when I complain and I think it's too hard and I'm too overworked.  Remind me that being a nurse is something that I KNOW I want.  Remind me that I can do this, please.  I'm going to stumble and I'm going to need my family and friends to keep me standing! 

Birthday post 2

Today I was lucky enough to score some scrubs on sale.  Which I actually need, both for when I'm working as a CNA and as a nursing student.  Of course no fun cute things for the nursing students, we're all required to wear a specific color and that's it. 

But what I also had fun looking at was the other things I need for school.  I need my very own stethoscope, a bandage scissors, a gait belt and a blood pressure cuff.  So all of these things would definitely make good gifts. 

 That's how I know I'm meant to do this because getting SUPPLIES makes me excited (LOL).  When you're getting things that are meant to get dirty and that makes you happy you know you're on the right track.  I'm totally digging the Kiwi Green color too!  And those gait belts you need to watch or they wander off!