48 days/260 days

It's spring break and right now there are 49 days til the end of this semester.  That also means that there are only 260 days til graduation. Of course that means spending the summer home again this year with my most favorite little human. 

I think about how I felt at this time last year, that I was drowning, that no one could possibly survive this thing called nursing school, that I would never finish, that I was never going to feel like a nurse, that I was terrified....so much more.  I feel different now.  I can see where I'm going and I can see how I'm going to get there (most of the time).  I know that I feel confident in some of the stuff I know and have learned.  Of course there is so much more to learn, there always will be, but I know stuff.  I know the answers, I just have to BELIEVE that I know them.

I enjoy clinical even when it means extra homework, because I like being on the floor.  I like spending time with patients.  I can see myself doing this job for the rest of my life.  I know this is what I'm supposed to do.  I may not always know what kind of nurse I'll be but I know that I'm supposed to be a nurse. 

In 260 days I'll be done with school.  I started this journey in January 2010 with my pre-reqs and I have met some amazing people along the way.  I have learned so much about myself, and I have been shown time and again how wonderful my family it (even when they drive me nuts).  I really can't imagine myself doing this without them.  I'm sure that I don't tell them that enough but I hope they know that. 

I can not wait to be done with this portion of school, to take my NCLEX and call myself a nurse.  On the flip side I'm terrified to be an official nurse that someone expects knows the answers.  It's going to be exciting.  Right now I'm focused on surviving this year, one day at a time.  Left foot, right foot, breathe.  Keep calm and nurse on!