Thoughts to live by....

"Today, if you become frightened, instead become inspired."

"Don't think about HOW you are going to do this, think about WHY you are going to do this"

‘I used to think it was a terrible thing that life was so unfair. Then I thought, 'what if life *were* fair, and all of the terrible things that happen to us came because we really deserved them?' Now I take great comfort in the general unfairness and hostility of the universe.’
- Marcus Cole, from Babylon 5 (1994-1998)

These quotes have been rambling around for me. The first one from last night's Grey's Anatomy, the second from someone when I was worried about how I was going to juggle things for school and the third about life in general.

The first quote reminds me that when we're scared we often become paralyzed by the fear instead of being inspired to find a way around the fear. Sometimes we just need to DO and not think so much.

The second one reminds me that sometimes the how sucks and it's hard but the why is the important part. The why is for me, for my family for my life. I know WHY I'm doing this and I have to keep that in mind each and every day that I feel stuck.

The third reminds me that sometimes things just happen and no one is to blame and nothing is fair.

So I vow to be inspired and remember the why in life even when things are tough and know that sometimes it's hard and that you just have to push through it.

This too shall pass, yet another of my thoughts to live by.

Life in a nutshell

Things get busy and then I forget to write down the important things. The ones I really want to keep in my mind forever seem to happen when you least expect it.

We've had a lot of rain lately and Gabe misses the shiny (sun). So he told me that he was going to wake up shiny for the last two days. It was super cute.

We've had friends come over and we've actually been out and about too.

Yesterday I spent about a day and a half on hold with MATC getting my application straightened out. Seems they didn't get the whole maiden name/married name thing combined and my transcripts didn't get paired with my application correctly. We did get it straightened out and I should be getting a letter to take the accuplacer testing in the mail SOON. Hopefully I can take it on a Thursday so my mom can watch Gabe. I've looked at some of the practice tests and I really hope I don't have to write a 300-600 word "paper". That is just a pain in the ass if you ask me. Otherwise Mike is going to have to help me brush up on the math stuff ahead of time too since math is my worst subject.

Then I need to set up an appointment to see the daycare facilities, figure out car rides for Gabe and I to school and back. Set up appointments with the financial aide office too I think since I have no idea how this stuff really works either. It's getting a little overwhelming but I'm trying to not panic and push through it. I can do this!!

This weekend we had an issue with our bank acct from a store that over charged me for an item I bought one of, they charged me for SEVEN. So now I'm waiting on their refund to go back into my bank acct since missing over a hundred dollars for us is super tough :(

Phew I think that's it lately though I feel like I'm missing something. I wish I had more time to just sit and think sometimes.

I'm really doing it

I'm going to school. I have applied to MATC to start their RN program. It's only a 2 year program which will probably take me 3 since I need some pre-reqs before starting the official program.

I've applied to the school online, stopped in at my high school to get my transcripts, filled out my FAFSA info. So now I'm in the waiting portion. I'm a little scared but mostly I'm excited. I'm thrilled that I know what I'm doing and there is a specific amount of time for that to happen in.

My EFC from FAFSA is zero so I should get the full amount for the Pell Grant and after that I'll hope for scholarships, grants, and loans to do the rest. I'll need to pay for school (and supplies, books etc), Gabe will hopefully be in on campus daycare so that will be an expense, and then if I can have enough money to "make" the $400 a month I make working I'll quit working. I don't want to over extend myself going to school full time for the first time in 10 years and I do want to be able to see my family occasionally (funny how I love them right?)

I have to say it was odd to be inside Nicolet as the current seniors will be graduating the same time as I have been out of high school TEN years. Where the heck does the time go? I did get to run into my former guidance counselor Mr. Artero who was glad to see me. I saw another teacher too who isn't there anymore but happened to be stopping in too. I could have done without seeing him though.

I need people's positive thoughts and any advice or help they have on how to get money for school. Wish me luck!!!

OCTOBER?!!?!!

Yes I needed explination points AND question marks there. I simply can not believe it's October already. I've been a horrible mommy and taken hardly any pictures of Gabe lately. We do have a pumpkin carving party tomorrow though so I'll have new ones then.

On to other things. We got a new furnace today, YAY! It's now nice and toasty warm in the house and so quiet I can't even tell it's on.

Gabe has been in a phase where he's decided to lock himself in the bathroom. This wouldn't be so bad because I can pop the lock from the outside but he opens a drawer behind the door so I still can't open it. We've got new child locks for the drawers so he can't do this anymore because it makes mom VERY unhappy. While putting him in time out for this today he decides to yell at me "mommy go away!" Now this is the kid that doesn't say very many three words sentences so I have to say instead of being hurt by it I had to turn around and giggle because at least it's a three word sentence. He said it with SUCH inflection and the hand wave too.

I know one day I'll look back and think about this time fondly (LOL maybe) but I know in the end this stubborn kid will be labelled persistent and that will be a good thing, right?

The more things you do the more that are left

I swear the more work we do organizing and cleaning in the new place the more that there is. You know how it is. Whenever you start cleaning you always end up with a bigger mess than before you started before it finally gets clean.

Of course everyone has their own time tables and priorities on what should get done first too. We have three adults now (me, Mike and Mom) so it's even harder sometimes to get everyone's wants and desires taken care of. I'm finding it's a game of compromise and just letting the little things go.

Today I have about a zillion things to do and of course not enough time, energy or money to take care of them all ;) I mean who does right?

We're going to buy some curtain rods, dig holes for a couple of trees we have to plant, remover for the wallpaper border in Gabe's room so I can get my butt in gear and paint that for him too.

I'm tired just thinking about it.

We're all working through who needs to do what, who needs to pay for what and who likes things where. We'll get there I know we will.

We have landed...

Image by Getty Images via Daylife

We are finally in the new place. I'm typing from my living room with the sun shining in a huge picture window. It's great.

The place is a disaster, half the light fixtures don't work, switches do nothing, the tub is covered in mildew that I'm scrubbing out, it needs painting and organizing but it's ours and that's all that matters.

The move was horrific, no surprise right? The good thing is that we had AMAZING friends who helped us move. Sometimes family isn't blood related at all but found and that's what we had. Those guys moved and organized the truck like champs. I swear Shawn must be a Tetris champion with the way he got things into the truck.

My feet and back STILL hurt but I'll survive.

We did get some appliances this weekend from Home Depot. We got amazing deals on all of them too. A brand new front loading washer and dryer (tiny scratches on them), a wall oven in stainless steel that was a special order that someone else didn't want, and a trash compactor. I'm excited about the oven because it actually has a convection option on it for baking and anyone who likes to back knows convection is the way to go! They will all be delivered on Saturday.

Our garage is PACKED full of stuff though so I hope we can get them into it too. We have so much stuff out there I'm sure we need a rummage to pair down stuff. I'm hoping to get Gabe's room painted this weekend but I have to remove the wallpaper boarder off the wall first.

Gabe slept pretty well last night so I hope it continues and he hasn't asked to go home once. I think he has figured it out that we ARE home. It feels like home and I know in a short time it will really be organized and homey.

The Itsy Bitsy Spider

Now we all know this song right?

The itsy bitsy spider goes up the water spout and then the rain comes and washes him out and that dumb spider goes up the water spout again.

Gabe has taken a liking to this song. It's taken over bed time over Frere Jaques even. So instead of singing it all cute and up beat and doing hand motions we sing is slow and softly now at night.

I am putting Gabe to bed when I'm done Mike tells me that only I could make the Itsy Bitsy Spider sound like a dirge. A dirge? Really? That's a funeral procession song people?! How in the world can I sing that to my child at night to wish him sweet dreams and a peaceful night.

So I got back at Mike. The next time he sang Frere Jaques I asked him if he was part of a church choir because he oversings is so dramatically. Needless to say he didn't make it through the rest of the song he laughed so hard at me.

Point for Mel