Things come back around

Today I'm watching a Greys Anatomy rerun after painting ornaments with Gabe and its the episode with the quote "If today you become frightened instead become inspired", and I thought I LOVE this quote.  I have loved it since I heard it the first time. 

So I thought about it again and I thought that quote is important.  That plus a post about arriving in Holland made me want to write about it again. 

Here is the Holland piece:



c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.
But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

I find that quotes tend to pop up right about the time I need them, just like Mish had happen to her recently too! So while this quote is about having a child that's different than the one you envisioned I find it works for most things in life that come up and DRASTICALLY change your destination ideas.  I know that I've posted about the Greys Anatomy post before, here, among other quotes that inspire me.  So sometimes we don't end up where we expect to, and sometimes the road is tough, and sometimes we don't even get to the destination we expected to, but what I have learned is that most places are nice places even if they aren't what we expect.  I can find a way to live in many places, I can find ways to THRIVE in places I didn't expect.  When I am scared, tired, unsure, or just plan done I remember many of these quotes and I keep going.  I just keep going.  JUST KEEP GOING!

I think that quotes showing up when you need them, be them bible verses, from a movie or a show, or a story from someone, or a post on a forum, they come up when you need them most. 

Done with the fall semester!

I made it through one more semester!  I am officially done with the fall 2011 semester.  A semester of intro psych (which sucked and I'll avoid that instructor like the plague) but I got a B-, Health psychology (which I love that instructor) and I got an A, Medical Terminology which was easy peasy and I got a 97% in LOL, also Modern Cinema which I'm still waiting for a final grade, I'm thinking B+ or A- depending on the paper grade.

The REALLY good news is that I have registered for all my core RN classes.  I am all set to take the really hard ones and the ones that really matter starting in the Spring 2012 semester.  I have all my classes at Mequon campus and New Castle as my first clinical location.  YAY!  Everything is close-ish to home!

I am still working out childcare for Gabe (EEK!!!!) but I'm hoping things are going to fall into place and we won't have to worry about it too much.  I will be at class/clinical 4 days a week and my Dad will watch Gabe on Weds so at least that day is taken care of. 

I am excited, nervous and terrified right now of the future 4 semesters but I also know this is what I want and I can do this.  It will be hard, there will be days (weeks) that suck but I can do this!! This is not a punishment, I want to do this.  I want to be a nurse! 

Christmas is around the corner which means so is Gabe's birthday.  Hopefully I'll have a few posts between now and then, and you'll see me in early January before I disappear again too.  I'm going to attempt to be better here even during the spring because I know I won't remember this journey if I don't write stuff down!

School decision

After I received the acceptance letter to Cardinal Stritch I also received an acceptance to MATC.  I was thinking "CRAP! now I really have to decide what to do?!" 

Mike and I really sat down and talked things through and he is the most wonderful, amazing husband ever, and assured me that we would do what needed to be done no matter which school I chose.  Knowing that he supported my decision really did help me and make it easier to decide.  After lots of thought and consideration I've decided to stay at MATC.  The price tag is definitely a big deciding factor, plus I've been receiving more grants which makes it even better.  I know that I don't have to work full time while in school and end up having some left over money to pay bills and things while in school.  Plus leaving school with less debt is something that I really need to consider.  Both programs are good and both give me my ADN which allows me to take the NCLEX and become an RN.  I'll worry about my BSN later if and when that matters.  MATC's program is 4 semesters long meaning I will finish in the December of 2013!

I am excited to have made a final decision! I am still nervous and worried and everything else.  There are still some things that I need to do before I start with those classes in January but I'm on my way.  Now I'm on a mission to find even more scholarships and grants to pay for school! 

Wish me luck, remind me that I'm not crazy, that I can do this with a child and a husband and a life.  Remind me that I WANT this when I complain and I think it's too hard and I'm too overworked.  Remind me that being a nurse is something that I KNOW I want.  Remind me that I can do this, please.  I'm going to stumble and I'm going to need my family and friends to keep me standing! 

I'm the worst blogger ever!!

 This is me updating all the stuff I apparently forgot in our reno, I said I was a horrible blogger.  But I want to make sure it makes it here now.  So this is a HIGHLY condensed time frame.  We really do love this space!!!
Here is the space with curtains, some art and bookcases too.




 Also adding in here that I did finally paint the funny wall in between the bedroom and the bathroom.
August 2011:Here is the wall, there are a few touch ups to be made still (hence the blue tape on one square still) but it's 90% done! I'm VERY pleased with it!! The touch ups there are I expected and will be super easy for me to do with a small craft brush tomorrow!

And I promise it's not crooked in real life!

Taped and painted:


tape pulled off!







Originally done 3/22/2011
 Lookie I have furniture in my living room, I LOVE this room.



second angle:


another:



I should take another picture of the chair closest to me in the picture it's an odd angle swoop thing to it and it's super comfy to sit in and really the special piece in the room. I'm thinking curtains with a thin stripe in them with red somehow.

Originally done 3/20/2011
 Ignore my missing tile, that's the part of the bathroom we couldn't decide on (we're still "arguing" about it lol). Thankfully that's just over my tub that heats and circulates the water so it can go in when we agree. I also hope to add a glass door to the shower someday.





I'll be glad when all the little things are done but I'm just so glad that it's livable that I'm willing to work on stuff once I'm using it (and I swear what house is ever REALLY done?)



Originally done 3/20/2011, and I just realized there was never completion posts.  So they are all going in one if I can figure it out!
We finshed the floor (baseboards still have to go on but that's no biggie). The floor is DOWN!

SO tonight I still have some cleaning up to do and outlet plates to put on and tomorrow we're going to be moving stuff in to the basement. We will FINALLY have privacy again! DH and I really need it and I know my mom wants a little extra room upstairs to hang out too.

I don't have any bedroom pics or bathroom ones uploaded yet but here is the living room

Yesterday, from the window back towards the stairs (you can seen on the right hand side we weren't done):



And today from the stairs towards the window:


We started this project in June :faint: So it's been a lot of weekend work and a lot of help from family and friends but we are finally there!!!

Here's from the stairs to the windows, before we started (the left window is now in the bedroom and both are the same 4 foot by 3 foot that you see in the later pics):

officially have a school for the rest of school

So the letter and packet actually came Saturday when we were gone and I opened it (well Mike opened it for me) on Sunday but I didn't post about it right away because we had to really sit down and talk it over.  It's not a cheap school so we had to decide if it's even possible.  Of course I still need to sit down with the school but it SEEMS feasible.  So I'm calling it accepted.

I will officially be a Cardinal Stritch nursing student in January if all goes well.  I will have 5 semesters of school to do, I have many classes done already so I will have to fill out my schedule with a few other things.  I will have my ADN and pass the NCLEX and be an RN by June 2014 (geez that's still a long way away!!!)  Cardinal Stritch is set up to bridge to the BSN easily which is great because I do know that I want my BSN for sure, after I have a job though. 

I'm still super nervous, and I haven't actually heard back from MATC yet but I figure that Stritch is what I really want and I should just jump in with both feet and do it, even though MATC is only a 4 semester program, at this point what's one extra semester right?! 

I'm excited, anxious, TERRIFIED and thrilled to be reaching this point.  I WANT THIS!  I NEED THIS!  I WILL DO THIS!

Where did the time go?

Gabe at the pumpkin patch.

It's late October already.  How did that even happen?  Where has the year gone?  I get so wrapped up in the day to day stuff that WOOOSH! it's over with and we're in October!

I love October though because Halloween is my favorite holiday!  I love the pumpkin picking and carving and the decorations.  I almost always have a costume for Trick or Treat so it's weird that this year I don't have anything, all my stuff is either way to big or doesn't fit because it's from high school (LOL). 

Gabe is going as a Dinosaur, possibly the last of the costumes my Grandma made for the grand kids when I was younger.  It's sort of a bitter sweet thing because I love those costumes and wish there were more reasons to wear them. 

Last weekend we went to the pumpkin patch and picked pumpkins.  Gabe of course picked the heaviest one he could find.  Poor Mike had to carry Gabe's pumpkin and his own, I was lugging a pretty big one for myself too. 

This weekend we're headed out to Spring Green Wisconsin for a wedding for our friends Wally and Lannia and I can't wait for the getaway with Mike.  Gabe is staying home with my mom which he loves.  They always do something fun together! 

Then we'll be to the last weekend of October and Halloween and then I feel like the whirl wind starts for Thanksgiving, Christmas and smashing in Gabe's FIFTH(!!!!) birthday and the year will be over with.  How does that happen again?  Geez.  I need to remember that even when a day or a week goes slow the year(s) go so fast. 

This shouldn't surprise you

It shouldn't surprise anyone that during school I fall off the blogging band wagon.  So here's the general "oh shit I forgot I have this" update.

I've finished my Medical Terminology class, all 12 weeks of it in about 3 weeks with a 97%.  I'm hating Intro to Psych because there is NO interaction with anyone in the class and the instructor doesn't get back to you either (a poor review will happen at the end of the semester).  My Health Psych class is good, I've taken another class with this instructor and I like her style.  My Intro to Modern Cinema class has been going well and I actually enjoy analyzing films. 

I have three papers to write for the classes I'm not done with.  I'm doing a PTSD treatment paper for Intro to Psych, no idea what the criteria is for the second psych class yet so don't have a topic but I have some ideas on what it might be, and my Modern Cinema class is comparing the 1951 Disney's Alice In Wonderland to the 2010 Tim Burton's Alice In Wonderland.  So that should be interesting. 

Other than that lets see... I have applications into both MATC and Cardinal Stritch for the spring semester to figure out where I'm doing clinicals.  I'm really hoping for MATC because it's just soooooo much cheaper and I don't have to panic about it.  I should know about Halloween time for both of those.

I've been maintaining weight right now which is okay, I needed a break and to see if I could live with this weight which is an "okay" weight for me but I've decided that I'm really NOT okay with it yet and I need to kick it back up for another 8-10lbs so that I can give myself some flux room for this current weight to be my "high" weight.  I really want to do some more core work too so I'm looking at some videos now because I need to have set goals to do well.

I have a job now, just Saturday nights, working for a private client doing home health aide stuff and some light house keeping.  I don't mind it and he's a nice enough guy, older but sharp and funny.  I think he's stating to warm up to me too.

I think that's it.  I should have another post around Halloween about Trick or Treating and school and stuff!!  Til them I promise I'm not dead just busy with school!