Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Thoughts about running and walking

So I'm still a very baby runner, honestly it's still more walking than running, but it's more running than I've done...oh ever.  I finished W2D3 (week 2 day 3) of the C25k program (couch to 5k) yesterday.   I feel like those 90 second runs are still super hard.  Tonight I think I'm going to do a 4th day in Week 2 just for the extra workout of it. 

Maybe each week I won't really feel ready to move on but how am I to know what's in my head and what's my body telling me I need to do an extra workout or an extra week?  How do I get over my own mind games?  It's super frustrating.  I just want to feel confident about myself and my (baby) abilities.  I don't like feeling like I'm floundering or unsure of what I'm doing.

I do know what my plan is.  My plan is to keep plugging along and to keep running and keep progressing through the program.  I know the program works for many people and I feel like it will for me.  I think that sooner or later there will just be a day or a week were I'm suddenly like "oh hai I can do this better today".  I'm looking forward to that day. 

Until then I'm going to keep my head down and put one foot in front of the other and see where that takes me.

Friday, June 24, 2011

The thing about weight loss is

that it is a long journey and day to day I don't always feel or see the differences.  I'm so glad now that I forced myself to take those before pictures.  I can NOT believe that's what I looked like.  I didn't FEEL like I was quite that heavy but I really honestly was.  Say it with me, I was obese :(  Now I'm down 65lbs from my starting weight. 
177lbs June 24, 2011

Starting weight 242lbs Aug 2010













I started this road last August just after I turned 28.  When I realized that I was going to be a nurse in the near future and I could have patients that I would have to tell to lose weight.  Uhh how could I do that and be obese myself?  I just couldn't.  It's like telling someone to quit smoking while puffing on one, people roll their eyes at you (Oh yeah I don't do that anymore either ;P).  

I am still overweight, but I'm getting closer.  BMI is a tool worth using.  So many of us throw it out the window in part because we are lying to ourselves about weight.  It is only part of the story of course but if you can get within one point of that healthy BMI I'd be okay with being in the "overweight" range, I mean I have huge knockers ;)  It matters what your bone structure is like and there are actual ways to determine if you really are "big boned" or medium frame.  There have even been studies that show that we're so overweight as a nation we don't even know what normal weight looks like anymore!  That's horrible. 

But more important than the number on the scale is the way I feel.  I feel amazing!  I'm not as tired as I was before, I don't feel like I need to nap every day.  I enjoy the exercise and I'm always looking for new ways to exercise.  I'm RUNNING! If you've known me for any length of time you'll know that the only way I would have run before was if zombies or a bear was chasing me, and then I'd trip you so that you'd get eaten first.  Now I'm enjoying it.  I'm a baby runner right now.  I just finished W2D1 of the C25K program (translation Week 2 day 1 of the couch to 5k programs) and I've begun looking at 5k races to do when I'm officially done with the program. 

I enjoy the fact that I can go into a clothing store and likely find several things in my size that I like, not just that aren't horrible looking on me.   I enjoy the fact that if you told me I'd never lose the rest of the weight I wouldn't stop eating well and exercising.  I enjoy that I do look better (come on be honest this is why most of us want to lose weight). 

I have realistic expectations and know that this is my life I'm talking about.  It's my future, and it is amazing!  I know that I have 30 min most days to squeeze in SOME workout no matter how busy I am with life, family or school.  It keeps me sane!

Now don't get me wrong I still enjoy a good "bad" meal now and then but I limit how many times a year that is and I still choose better options now than I would have before and I always still eat less (get the box right at the beginning of the meal, out of sight out of mind). 

For anyone thinking "It's too hard" "I have too much to lose" "I can't do this" believe me you can, one small step at a time.  Start by changing just ONE thing about your diet OR exercise and live with it for a couple weeks, then change another.  Slowly all those little things add up.  We don't give up addictions we just change their focus, so now my addiction will be exercise and healthy living!